My Spiritual Awakening Journey

The Heart, an organ lives within us that keeps us alive, keeps us breathing, keeps us feeling.  This is the space where integrity, worthiness, self-love, self-worth lives.  But it is also the space where self-judge, self-doubt, unworthiness stored.  While both positive and negative trying to take charge, self-conflict rises & mind chatter starts. As much as I want to feel I am worthy, a sound from the back of my head starts echoing:  "You're such a failure & you still want to demand rest?" "How pathetic, can't even handle small challenges" "You're worthless" The negative often sound louder, much louder than the positive. The reason is that we human, focus negative's much more than the positive's.  If you allow, it'll get even louder that one day, you will get consumed by it & sink into this void.  The keyword here is: If you allow.  I have always felt a void in me. So dark, so deep that I don't have the courage to co...

 10.08.2020  A day where I took up the courage to call and confronted him, who sexually molested me when I was 10. I am 28 this year and it hasn't been easy.  One incident branched out a lot of beliefs that have held me back in life for so long and I, want to simply thank myself, for taking up the responsibility to regain my power in my own life.  18 years had passed. I have learned that forgiveness is one of the ways to experience unconditional love. I have experienced it today and I would love to share what I understand from it with you.  What are the differences between conditional love and unconditional love? Conditional love is he has to do this and that to redeem himself for doing what he did. Unconditional love in forgiveness is I forgive despite he apologizes or not, despite how he reacted, I still choose to forgive him and I set myself free from this sexual trauma. I detached myself from it. I told him how he affected my life and all I wanted is for him...

As my profile says, I called myself May Cih/Moonie. Why Moonie? Here's the story. My full name is Lim May Cih but I didn't grow up by people calling me May Cih in my family, because apparently, 'Cih' in Mandarin sounds like "flag" and it means my life is like a flag, floating up and down, not stable hence I always suffered from health issues so after asking some sifus in temples, my family started calling me mei (Chinese slang). Truth is, I LOVE my name. I think May Cih is a beautiful name and Cih is a very special spelling, I have yet to encounter anyone that has this spelling but I can't embrace the name as it will bring me sickness. Tho I still introduce myself as May Cih, I always have a feeling that I will die soon, from sickness. As I grow older and work in the sales industry, I do a lot of callings and people always misheard my name so I short cut it to May. My name story didn't stop here. I was told by a guru (I don't recommend her at all a...

Hi! I am proudly announcing that I am an Intuitive Tarot Reader 🦄 Well, today's topic is not about tarot, is about gratitude. I did a lot of readings for the past one week and I realized: Align with Divine Deck by @ascendedwithKarishma keep popping the same card over and over again to my clients and I know, it is also for me - Gratitude. While I was eating lunch, this word popped up again so I want to take this chance to journal how I feel about Gratitude.  I am gonna start off by answering the answer on the card:  1. What am I grateful for today? - I am grateful for my clients who engaged my service and took their time to give me their honest and truthful testimonials, - I am grateful for my boyfriend who gave me endless support and showers me with unconditional love - I am grateful for MYSELF who is willing to take up the Tarot awakening class and put it in good use. Serving people who ask for guidance and clarity.  2.   To Whom and What can I express my gratitude...

I am prompted to write this post for this full moon.  Releasing emotions that no longer serve you.  I used to struggle in releasing emotions. Okay, some of you who know me must be thinking, well, that's bullshit, you cry A LOT.  True, I do cry a lot but that is not entirely releasing because sometimes I don't even know what am I crying. I don't understand why do I feel sad all the time. And when sad is perceive as 'weak' in my dictionary, I suppressed the sadness and decided to let my emotion flow (yes, flow, not release) in anger. So, how do we identify and how do we start releasing? Before I begin, remember this rule of thumb: Every emotion is equal. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.   First step: Awareness You need to be aware of your emotion. How?  The easiest way to be aware is when you get trigger - that is when anger comes out. Anger is a defense mechanism, is the quickest and most comfortable way to shield our true emotion - sadness, disappointment, etc.  When yo...

This is the perfect time to talk about my journey because I resigned HAHA. And I am going to be completely vulnerable and honest to talk about the dark side of my journey because these are the incidents that I have healed and be who I am today.  ----------- I was molested at the age of 10 by someone I trusted, and ever since then, I don't feel complete and I hate myself. I was sad but often times, we are not familiar with expressing sadness because sadness = being weak and we were/are taught to be strong. And in the dictionary of society, strong means you are not allowed to cry/sad/be vulnerable. So I hide my sadness away but emotions will find its way out, so I expressed it in anger and it turned to rage. I cursed a lot not knowing my emotions want to come out. I cursed with a lot of anger and people find me intimidating and rude but, I happened to have a lot of boyfriends. Why? I don't love myself so I constantly looking for boyfriends to fill the void in me. The void that wa...