Release.

I am prompted to write this post for this full moon. 

Releasing emotions that no longer serve you. 

I used to struggle in releasing emotions. Okay, some of you who know me must be thinking, well, that's bullshit, you cry A LOT. 

True, I do cry a lot but that is not entirely releasing because sometimes I don't even know what am I crying. I don't understand why do I feel sad all the time. And when sad is perceive as 'weak' in my dictionary, I suppressed the sadness and decided to let my emotion flow (yes, flow, not release) in anger. So, how do we identify and how do we start releasing?

Before I begin, remember this rule of thumb: Every emotion is equal. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. 

First step: Awareness

You need to be aware of your emotion. How? 

The easiest way to be aware is when you get trigger - that is when anger comes out. Anger is a defense mechanism, is the quickest and most comfortable way to shield our true emotion - sadness, disappointment, etc. 

When you are angry, bring it to your consciousness that 'You are angry'. Acknowledge your anger, "Yes, I am angry" and when you start acknowledging, that is when you truly aware of how you feel. 

It takes practice. Everything in this post takes practice and one step at a time. 

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Second Step: Let it out 

And no, not letting it out on that person who triggers you (But well, you gauge it yourself if you have to stand up for yourself so that the idiot will stop triggering you intentionally okay?). 

I give you an example. 

You and friends are just discussing some random topics, well, some times the discussion heated up. If what other people opinions/thoughts start triggering you example: 

"I think people who smoke are stupid" (this is an example!) 

You as a smoker feel triggered "How can someone be so ignorant".

You need to start being aware and understand how emotion works. 

And here's the thing, that is that person's opinion, it doesn't define you but if you are angry, that means something inside you need to heal but we won't jump to this step first. Remember, that is other people's opinion, it has nothing to do with you.

After ending the session, get in the car and yes, start letting the anger out. Shout/Scream/Vulgar him as much as you want, no judgment because we are angry at what he says, not that person so yup, let the anger out. Let it all out until there's no leftover anger emotion in. 

What if I don't let it out? 

Well, it'll stay inside your body and start wrapping your true core emotion. Remember, anger is a defense mechanism so that it can minimize your hurt. The more you don't let it out, the thicker the wrap will be and this is what happened to a lot of people, they don't even know what is the true emotion behind it anymore. It will get out of control someday too. 

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Third Step: Dig

Now that you finish screaming/shouting in the car, take 3 deep breaths (inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth) to calm yourself down. 

**If you can't seem to calm down and there's still a lot of anger, go back to step two, make sure all is done then you start step 3**

After 3 deep breathing, start asking yourself questions:

1. What did he say that trigger me?

People who smoke are stupid 

2. What is in that sentence that really triggers me?

Stupid

3. Why did I get trigger by the word "stupid"?

When you reach here, start talking to yourself, why you hate people calling you stupid? Often times it linked back to your inner child (the innocence, naive you at a young age) eg:

My friends always call me stupid because I can't score on the exam.

My mom called me stupid because I couldn't finish my homework.

My dad said I was dumb because I can't complete a task he gave me.

And the true core emotion behind anger is sadness associate with a core soul wound (we will talk about it in the future blog post). 

Fourth Step: Release

If emotion starts surfacing, this is the time to release it completely. Don't hold back. Cry it all out. If you have to scream, shout, or punch a pillow, do it (self-harm action shouldn't be practice ya, if you have self harm thoughts, find help). Find a safe space to do it eg: your car. 

If you know the core emotion, but you can't feel, don't worry, it takes time. At least now you are aware of it. Write it down. If you have habit of journaling, perfect. If you don't, start writing on your phone, just to remember what happened. 

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When you start practicing these 4 steps, the next time when a similar topic rises up, you will realize it doesn't affect you as much as previously. You will start to aware of other emotions too. 

I practice this religiously and now, my step is 1 - 3 - 4 because I am very much aware that my anger is a defense mechanism, and I am 100% truthful to myself hence I know, I am not angry, instead, I am sad. Then, I will start digging deep into my core by talking to myself, asking questions and when emotion rises up, I release it. 

I cry, I scream, I shouted out the pain and pushing it all out of my body. Every time after releasing, I feel lighter, so much lighter and I understand how to handle my emotions better. I understand all emotion is equal and when they need to come out, it needs to come out. 

-- See triggers as opportunities for you to heal emotions that no longer serve you -- 

If you want to know more about this topic on how to heal these emotions completely (I will blog about it but I don't know when haha), dm me in IG @mayyyylim and I am more than happy to share with you. You may book me a tarot reading session (by donation) to uncover your emotions too! :) Ask me about it if it resonates :D

Sending lots and lots of Unicorn loves to you as you're reading this :)