Sharing/Giving.

Sharing/Giving. 

This week (21st - 27th June) is a week of sharing and giving to me. And I received number nudges (it happens to me very often as I always see repetitive numbers, not necessarily 111/222 but random numbers) and it was 728. 

One of the messages of 728 from Joanne Sacred Scribes (http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/) is:
"Be grateful for your blessings and to remember that the more you have, the more you have to share with others." So I have decided to talk about Giving in my own experiences.

I love sharing, be it food, knowledge, gift, love and etc and it has to be from love/joy. Yes, love and joy/happy emotion, and I'll share with you why via story:

Previously when I share *insert an act/ideas etc*, I unintentionally force people to buy in my *insert an act/ideas etc and when people don't, I get upset:

Me: Oh my god, this crystal is so nice! 
Friend A: Ya wo! 
Me: Let's buy together!
Friend A: hmm, well, it is pretty but I don't really want to own it. Nice to see.
Me: Why? Do you know blah blah (start to share on crystal benefits) so let's buy!!!
Friend A: ah, sorry no, I really don't want to...
Me: Why when you know this crystal helps you in xxx ways but you refuse to buy? why you like that?

So, yes, I forced people to accept everything I share, whether or not it resonates with that person. It creates tension in the friendship. Well, you think it only work one way? No, it works both way. When my friend shares anything with me, I will buy regardless it resonates or not. I ended up with a lot of purchases that I don't like. 

Why do I force?

Well, my core issue was unworthiness - I constantly seek for acknowledgement to fill the void in my heart space because I don't acknowledge myself. I don't find myself likable/worthy. If someone purchases something because of me, I feel "ah, means I am worthy for her as she listens to my advice" and when people don't, I feel a sense of rejection. 

It hurts me so badly that I often cry or feel bad because I feel people constantly rejecting/dislike me not knowing, it has nothing to do with me. So previously, I buy gifts/share info to people from the intention of wanting acknowledgement, not Love & Joy. I am guilty of this and it is okay. It is a process and I am proud to say:

I have healed from there. 

Now, I am still being me, constantly spreading loves and joys to my friends, the difference is that I have shifted the intention from seeking acknowledgement to giving Unconditional Love and Joy from my heart. How did I do this?

Well, through a lot of guided meditations to heal my unworthiness wound with my trusted mentors, Nadia from Moon and Soul KL & Karishma, a wonderful and magical healer. There are also a few ways I have been practicing to bring myself back to alignment (yes, you need to practice as all these habits are the same as muscle memory, the more you practice, the easier it gets):

1. Everyone has a choice. Do not take away people's power to choose.
The choice is IN their hand. If I force them to make the choice, I have to bear the karma (if things go wrong in any circumstances) so, I share things that make me happy, to *insert action* or not to, is completely up to them. *search up spiritual law of karma to understand better.*

2. If you feel bad because people make choices based on your sharing, you need to tell this to yourself: 
It has nothing to do with you. 
You share because that is what makes you happy/believe, whether or not it resonates with the other person, it is none of your business. So every time I share, I will always tell my friend: Do/Act only if it resonates, please do more research for yourself & I will tell myself "I am happy my friend believes in me, but they need to take up the responsibilities/consequences of the choices they make too" so draw healthy boundaries. Not everything is about you.

3. I give/share from the intention of Love & Joy.
What if they don't like the gifts I give? Well, it is okay because 'like' is a very subjective matter, what matters is the intention behind the gift - Joy/Love. The gift is a vessel of joy energy and that's your intention. You did your best to pick the best gift, know that everything is well. 
**of course, if someone said "what kind of shitty gift is this?", well, reconsider this friendship. 

By practicing these methods, I feel lighter and happier whenever I share now. But, how do I know whether I am sharing from what intention? Talk to yourself. Be open that dark and evil thoughts might surface and admit it, because - First step to heal is to feel.

Always Check-in with yourself. You give/share because of:
Love/Joy for your friends
or 
Ego/Showoff
or 
Want to impress people
or
Hoping something in return

If it is other than good/happy energy, ask yourself. Talk to yourself and try to figure out. If you need more insights/helps on what you are feeling, find me on IG @ mayyyylim, I would love to introduce my mentors to you or simply just talk to me. I'll see what I can help. Do only if it resonates :)

Hope my story serves/inspires you. Sending lots of Unicorn loves to you as you're reading this :)

Gifts I recently got for my soul tribe :D 

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